The Magic of Christmas

So here I will blurb about Christmas. I have to admit, it's not my favorite holiday. It's just not. I do like it, but not top on my list. Thanksgiving, 4th of July and Easter are on the top of my list!! And I honestly struggle with the concept of Santa Claus and gift giving. However, I do not struggle with the concept of baked goods eating. No I do not, and I have a very large bottom to prove it.

About gift giving, I am not comfortable with receiving gifts as an adult from people other than my husband. My parents haven't been in the best financial state for a few years, and my brothers are single dudes who could care less about buying me something, and I'm ok with that actually. I have not wanted to burden them at all with buying stuff that will end up in the Goodwill pile by the next year.

So last year I suggested that we just not give gifts to the adults, and only to the kids. Surprisingly my brothers were totally ok with that (haha). My mom was ok with it too. She did send us a few homemade things, which I felt were better than anything she's ever given us in the past. My sister, however, was a different story. It really offended her and she let me have it.

That aside, I still don't want to give gifts. I have way too much stuff, I really don't want anything from anyone and I don't feel right about people spending money on us. And I know gift giving is not about reciprocity, but dang it, a thank you would be nice once in a while.

Then there is the whole issue of Santa Claus. Now that we have a child, this is going to be a factor in a few years. My husband's family does not do Santa Claus. His parents could not afford a Santa gift and a parents gift growing up, so Santa got the ax. He'd like to just leave it that way and focus on what Christmas is really about, Jesus. Here is where I am torn. We did do Santa in my family, and I have to admit I had fun with it as a kid. I remember every year at the ward Christmas party leading the hunt for Santa's reindeer. I don't even know how I would introduce the concept of Santa to my son. Or is that something they just do like drooling? How do I balance the sacred and the secular?

And then I read all the blogs I read (which are many and varied). Many of them are excited about crafts of the season....oh, I am SO NOT on that bandwagon. Don't get me wrong, I am wicked with a glue gun, and I love me a craft or two, but I am not in a crafting season at this point in my life. All of my crafting hobbies and whatnot have been safely put away for the last year. The mere thought of going in the parking lot of Micheal's or Hobby Lobby makes me break out in hives. There will be no Martha Stewart (or other domestic maven) inspired goodness in our house I'm afraid. If I can't find it "Made in China" at the Tar-zhe I will not bother with it. (And as an aside here Tar-zhe, what's with all the funk-a-tron, psychedelic Christmas colors? Seriously, I get red, green blue and white, but fuchsia? I'm not seeing the connection there.)

In the end too, and I think this is what is at the heart of my Christmas angst is that I really do feel overwhelmed with everything. It irritates me to see Christmas commercials in August and then the blitz that starts 5 mins after Halloween. I guess I don't want to get swept up in all of that, and people gushing about 'the magical time of the year' and presents etc.

I have to say too, that last Christmas was kind of nice. Having only had a baby one month before Christmas we opted out of everything and stayed home. It was only the second time in my life that I missed Christmas at home. While part of me missed all of the hullabaloo, I was content to sit at home, bake a ham and watch the Christmas Story over and over again on TBS. Our families called and that was it. I did however miss not getting my box of fresh Arizona oranges -- seriously walk out in the back yard and pick them off the tree oranges. I did miss that and do lament that oranges are not ready at Thanksgiving! (But the pomegranates are!!)

So there I am with Christmas, it seems to be a struggle I have every year, and I'm not sure how to resolve it. Your thoughts are welcome. :)

Last Week of Firsts

Next week my son turns one. Not to sound cliche, but where did the time go? No, seriously, where did the time go?

I have to admit all the people that told me to "cherish the time" bugged me. They still do. I've felt like for the most of this last year I've been just getting by and have met each milestone with happiness in the sense of, 'ok, that's out of the way, next.' I don't know if that's bad, or if I regret that. Most of the last year I have not gotten emotional when putting small clothes away, or boxing up stuff that the baby has out grown, except for lately. I have gotten weepy, when I've thought about this year. This has been a year of firsts. Every day that my son has been alive has been the first of that day...first November 18th and so on...

That's why this is the last week of firsts. After next year, even though he will still be growing and developing it won't be "the first". It makes sense in my head at least.

Anyway...I thought this song was fitting:



How do we measure this year? I don't know, but there are many things that will make it THE YEAR of firsts.

Just A Bunch of Western Desert Rats

Ok, so I am in the middle of a storm of emotions right now.

I've mentioned before that my sister and her family are moving back West from the East. I don't know why I'm getting emotional about this, but I am.

Eight years ago when they left, it was hard. There went one of my best friends, the grandkids and the fun people. However, it was fun to go back and visit them, and to travel around back there. We've been able to do and see many things and places because of this. And I am incredibly thankful for it.

I guess too, a part of me thinks it's incredibly cool...and I mean cool-kid cool, to live back east. Let's face it, New Mexico is the state that everyone forgets about, is on the top of all the "bad top-10 lists" (see also: drunk driving, domestic violence, drug use, teen pregnancy and poverty), and let's face it besides the green chili no one even knows they've flown over this flyover state. And dare I say it, it's always embarrassed me a bit that I live here. (And I will say this here and now...Santa Fe "style" makes me want to puke, bolo ties are hokie, turquoise is ugly, Catholic iconography is scary and there is no way I can find any redeeming qualities in Indian Casinos).

So now that they're coming back, I feel like my connection to coolness is going away. I have to wonder will I ever get back east again? Will I ever finish seeing New England (some how Connecticut and Vermont seem to evade me) and will my dream of living in Western New York ever come true? We are again a bunch of western desert rats.

I don't know. I seem to feel and know that I am where I am for a reason, and we've got work here to do, but what? After almost seven years I'm still finding it hard to bloom where I've been planted.

Sick, sick, green booger, sicky

We're feeling better thank you very much.

I know I've posted about this before, but I feel compelled to once again...

I posted on my FB status yesterday that we were not at church because we were sick. A girl in my ward commented that she was sick, but still went to take the sacrament and sing a musical number for the program. It was very holier than thou. After I rolled my eyes at the piety, I just asked her, how many people she exposed to her germs? Every little bit counts people. And when two out of three members of the bishopric are doctors and have asked the congregation to stay home when they are sick....do you think you could do that? Hmmm?

This is not to say that I have not gone to work and school sick. I have. Oh I have. The only time I actually took off from Satan's High School was when I had herniated two disks in my back and I absolutely could not walk and was on some SERIOUS druggage. Believe me, it was no relaxing day at home either. I was afraid my little minions would draw and quarter the sub, then burn my room down. They were that great of kids.

However, I have fully repented of my ways. The ward will go on without me and you. And if there is no one to teach the lesson, I'm sure one of the yakkity-yaks would be more than happy to get up and pontificate on about some external minutia that is not part of the greater Mormon cannon of beliefs for the hour. It might even be more exciting that the time Sister Crys-alot tried to talk politics and the evils of war in the Sunday school lesson...that was fun! Jerry Springer Sunday anyone?

I'm just sayin'....

Because we are just "that" fun...

...I decided to get sick too.

I feel like I've been hit by a MACK truck.

And yesterday my husband was going to be gone all day. Early to work, and then home teaching appts all evening. I was very discouraged to say the least. How was I going to make it thru the day?

I didn't have to.

He came home at lunch so I could take a nap. He also took the baby all night last night so I could sleep. It's the first full night of sleep I've had in, I can't even tell you how long.

Now, he's down stairs doing the housework.


I should get sick more often, right?

Saving Our Day

The last week or so has been interesting here in our little abode. We've been dealing with our own sicknesses, and that of our baby, oh and he's teething too. Did I ever mention how pleasant his personality has become? No?! Well, Mr Congeniality!

I had taken Boy into the urgent care on Monday to be told what I had suspected all along...ear infection! Tuesday found us mostly sitting on the couch watching TV, or up on the computer watching Sesame Street clips on the internet. The point is Boy was sitting in my lap, calmly and not wanting to move around. This is so not him. He is just not a cuddler, or a sitter or anything like that. He is a mover and a shaker. I kept thinking about what to do for dinner. I didn't really have anything frozen ready to defrost and we were out of leftovers. I knew if I tried to cook something Baby would scream for not being held.

I just kept wondering over and over, "What am I going to do for dinner?" It wasn't even a prayer in my heart, just a thought in my head. Then my door rang and it was my friend delivering my Pampered Chef order. She also had a container of soup for us. She said, she just thought we might need some soup.

We did need soup, we needed it badly. Dinner problem solved.

I'm really thankful for a friend who listened to the still small voice and answered my un-uttered prayer. It really saved our day.

Your Family on Facebook

So, I will admit, I spend alot of time on facebook. Not quizzing myself to death or wasting time on things like Mafia Wars or Farmville, town or whatever it is. I use facebook to keep up with my incredibly Big Fat Mormon Family, who seems to be spread from here, to there and everywhere these days. Oh, and friends...I love my peeps. Seriously, when my best friend from elementary school found me I literally screamed. I screamed...I'm that dorky!

Ok, so I will also admit I use my FB account as a way to keep track of interesting conservative news articles and whatnot. I've lost friends over some of the stuff I've posted there. So tonight I got a friend invite from one of my VERY liberal cousins. I think the real reason she and her sisters are Democrats was to rebel against their very strict father. No, I'm serious. Kinda how Alex P Keaton was a Republican on Family Ties.

I just wonder what she will think of my news postings. Hopefully, she will be too busy with her job to be on facebook much. Family is actually one place I won't discuss politics, we have enough drama as it is with out adding current events to the mix.

Oh, and my mom is on facebook too...how weird is that?

The Wall Fell

20 years ago today the Berlin Wall fell.

The East Berliners literally ran into freedom. They ran to freedom.

I lived in Berlin. I chipped a piece out of the wall.



Consider your freedoms today.

I love you Berlin!